Friday 16 February 2007

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A STORY ABOUT LETTING GO OF RESENTMENTS
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Author Unknown

A story tells of a merchant in a small town who had identical twin sons. The boys worked for their father in the department store he owned and, when he died, they took over the store.
Everything went well until the day a dollar bill disappeared. One of the brothers had left the bill on the cash register and walked outside with a customer. When he returned, the money was gone.
He asked his brother, "Did you see that dollar bill on the cash register?" His brother replied that he had not. But the young man kept probing and questioning. He would not let it alone. "Dollar bills just don't get up and walk away! Surely you must have seen it!" There was a subtle accusation in his voice. Tempers began to rise. Resentment set in. Before long, a deep and bitter chasm divided the young men. They refused to speak. They finally decided they could no longer work together and a dividing wall was built down the center of the store. For twenty years hostility and bitterness grew, spreading to their families and to the community.
Then one day a man in an automobile licensed in another state stopped in front of the store. He walked in and asked the clerk, "How long have you been here?"
The clerk replied that he'd been there all his life. The customer said, "I must share something with you. Twenty years ago I was "riding the rails" and came into this town in a boxcar. I hadn't eaten for three days. I came into this store from the back door and saw a dollar bill on the cash register. I put it in my pocket and walked out. All these years I haven't been able to forget that. I know it wasn't much money, but I had to come back and ask your forgiveness."
The stranger was amazed to see tears well up in the eyes of this middle-aged man. "Would you please go next door and tell that same story to the man in the store?" he said. Then the man was even more amazed to see two middle-aged men, who looked very much alike, embracing each other and weeping together in front of the store.
After twenty years, the brokenness was mended. The wall of resentment that divided them came down.
It is so often the little things that finally divide people -- words spoken in haste; criticisms; accusations; resentments. And once divided, they may never come together again.
The solution, of course, is to let go. There is really nothing particularly profound about learning to let go of little resentments. But for fulfilling and lasting relationships, letting them go is a must. Refuse to carry around bitterness and you may be surprised at how much energy you have left for building bonds with those you love.

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Editor's note:
This story reminds me of the following two quotes: "He feels that the present inharmony prevailing among you...is very detrimental to the advancement of the Cause, and can only lead to disruption and the chilling of the interest of new believers. You...should forget about your personal grievances and unite for the protection of the Faith which he well knows you are all loyally devoted to and ready to sacrifice for. Perhaps the greatest test Baha'is are ever subjected to is from each other; but for the sake of the Master they should be ever ready to overlook each other's mistakes, apologize for harsh words they have uttered, forgive and forget. He strongly recommends to you this course of action." (From letter dated December 18, 1945, written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual believer, from 'Living The Life', Baha'i Publishing Trust (UK) p. 24)''

"We must never dwell too much on the attitudes and feelings of our fellow-believers towards us. What is most important is to foster love and harmony and ignore any rebuffs we may receive; in this way the weaknesses of human nature and the peculiarity or attitude of any particular person is not magnified, but pales into insignificance in comparison with our joint service to the Faith we all love." (From letter dated 19 September 1948 written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual believer, from 'The Baha'i Life', p. 16)
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TAKING OFFENSE
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Prepared by Elizabeth Rochester for Canadian Baha'i News August 1969, used by permission. This article is taken from the book "Falling Into Grace" by Justice St. Rain, pp. 44 - 46.

"It is deeply disturbing to see the ease with which large numbers of Baha'is appear to get 'hurt' and at the tendency of other believers to 'sympathize' with the one hurt and show their 'love' by hardening their hearts against the one who presumably caused the hurt.
'Abdu'l-Baha asks us not to offend anyone. True!
He also asks us not to take offense! He requires us to regard our enemies (not just our estranged friends in the Faith) as friends. He doesn't simply ask us to treat them as friends even though we know they are enemies. He asks us to see them as friends. Why? Because these hurts are the tests which require us to grow if we are to be steadfast in the Cause. They are the tests which correct the direction of our growth (like pruning shrubs) and test the sincerity of our desire to love all mankind.
He requires us to love the people with all their shortcomings. He said, "Do not look at the people for they are full of shortcomings, but love them for the sake of God."
People who are warm and loving are very fortunate. People who are cold and forbidding often hate themselves, are already filled with guilt and fear and only a powerful and genuine love which can thaw their frozen hearts can cure them. What is 'love' if it takes sides against them?
A log may appear to be burning but only when the kindling is consumed can you tell if it has 'caught.' If we only 'love' when we are being 'loved', we haven't 'caught.' To know that is to know a bitter truth about ourselves, but it is one worth knowing. It is a very dangerous condition to be in - a completely dependent one. What is the cure? To completely immerse ourselves in the ocean of the Writings; to pray and beseech God to kindle the fire of love and attraction in our hearts; to take action; to seek reconciliation; to serve the friends no matter what the pain; to teach the Faith and direct the seeker to the source of love and illumination - which is the Revelation. (The friends cannot be this source, for they may or may not have 'caught.')
Many people took offense at 'Abdu'l-Baha Himself. Was the Perfect Exemplar responsible for their being offended? In such a case it is clear that offense can be taken when none was intended nor any cause given. 'Abdu'l-Baha was the object of the most despicable behavior which men are capable of, yet did He ever assume the role of a man offended? It is possible to exercise the spiritual muscles of forbearance, forgiveness, mercy and to refuse to take offense or be hurt. How do we know? We know because 'Abdu'l-Baha did it, and if we are tempted to retort, 'But I am not an 'Abdu'l-Baha, the obvious answer is 'That is evident, but He is still our example.' And the one who 'hurt' us is also not an 'Abdu'l-Baha, but only trying, it is to be hoped, to follow the same example as ourselves.
Baha'u'llah says that He desires to see us as one soul in many bodies. The one who hurts us is simply stuck on a different hurdle in the spiritual race. And we, in being hurt, are stuck on another. If we truly believe in the oneness of mankind we must love wisely enough and well enough to pray that we will both learn to take our separate hurdles in our strides, and in the meantime, love, love, and love again."

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